My Dearest Leggy
by Melkor'sOnlyLieutenant
Summary: There are so many parodies where Legolas is terrified of his stalker Mary Sue fan girls. What if Legolas actually likes the Mary Sues? What if he always insists that said Sues join the Fellowship on their quest? When yet another Sue randomly falls to Middle-earth, Legolas just couldn't be happier. Meanwhile, Aragorn and the rest dread what is to come. DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

_Yeah, so a plotless thingy written late at night. This is supposed to be stupid and written quickly, and it isn't supposed to have any point at all. So, not my best work, but it was still satisfying to do some Leggy bashing. Anyway, Melkor, do mah disclaimor!_

_Melkor: Wat. Why? I'm not even in this._

_Well, you will be in another story one day, I promise. So, please?_

_Melkor: ...fine. Melkor'sOnlyLieutenant does not own Lord of the Rings or Legolas. She owns the Mary Sue._

_Enjoy and review, please!_

_...you know, I think I'm going to make an actual full length story out of this._

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><p><strong>Somewhere in Middle-earth, before Frodo left the Fellowship<strong>

Today was a good day for Mary Sue. She had woken up to find herself in her most favourtist place ever, Middle-earth, the world where her darling Legolas lived! She had read so many fan fics like this, but had never dared to hope it could happen to little old her. But it had! Oh, what a wonderful day it was! Now, she only had to wait for the Fellowship to show up, as she knew they would. Then she would win the heart of dearest Leggy in two seconds flat! After all, that was what always happened in those stories she read.

** . . .**

The Fellowship very conveniently showed up only a few minutes later. And the first thing they noticed was the oh-so beautiful girl sitting on the grass, obviously waiting for them.

Frodo gasped. No, it couldn't be. But it had to be. The beautiful gown – that was, by the way, very inconvenient to be wearing in the wild – the long, shimmering, wavy black/blond/brown and once-in-a-while pink hair, the shining blue-green eyes, the perfectly sculpted face… yes, it could only be one thing. Another Mary Sue had fallen to Middle-earth.

"Strider!" Frodo whispered in horror. "She- she's a-!"

Aragorn had already noticed. He, too, gasped in terror. "A Mary Sue!"

Boromir groaned. "_Another_ one? We just dealt with one in Rivendell!"

Merry shuddered. Elrond had not been pleased at _all_ with that incident. And it was not fun when Elrond was not happy.

Sam gulped. "Has- has she seen us?"

Pippin shivered. "She's staring right at us! There's no escape!"

"Someone find Legolas!" Gandalf ordered. "We have to make sure that ridiculous Elf does not come back from wherever he wandered off too! You know what happened _last_ time he met a Mary Sue!"

The Mary Sue suddenly let out an earsplitting squeal. "Leggy, my darling!"

It was too late. Legolas had randomly appeared behind the rest of the Fellowship, silently creeping up on them with his freaky elf skills.

"Oh no…" Sam whispered.

Mary Sue giggled happily and ran/skipped over to Legolas. "Legolas, my darling! How I have longed to meet you! We are fated to be together!"

Aragorn and the rest of the Fellowship groaned. They knew exactly what would happen next.

Legolas blinked, staring at the Sue, obviously processing what was going on.

The Sue just nattered happily away, unconcerned that her dearest Leggy wasn't responding.

Processing… Processing… Processing…

Legolas suddenly knelt before the Sue, taking her hands. "My dear love, for many a century I have waited for one like you!"

The Sue giggled again. Oh, this was exactly like her favourite fan fics!

"It is obvious that one as beauteous as you was meant for one as wonderful and perfect and worshipful as me! Come, you must join us on our quest! For such a beautiful creature such as yourself is the perfect companion for my perfect, amazing, mighty, beautiful, talented self! For I deserve only the most beautiful and devoted of companions, those who would think only of me, and-"

Legolas would continue with his speech for a good while yet, after which he would insist the Sue should join them in their quest. Then he would try to convince Frodo to let the girl be the Ring Bearer, just like he had done with the other Sue. And all the Sues before her. He did this with every single Sue that obsessed with him. He just loved the fact that the Sues practically worshiped him. Eventually the Sue would return to her own world, but the reprieve would be short. A Legolas-loving Sue was always sure to return.

"Aragorn! We must give the Ring to this charming young lady! She is clearly the chosen one to destroy it!" Legolas exclaimed.

The Sue laughed happily, spun in a circle, and proceeded to sing in an ethereal voice, attracting every bird and tiny woodland creature in existence to gaze adoringly at her.

Aragorn sighed. "Here we go again."

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><p><em>So, hope you all had fun with my first attempt at a Mary Sue goes to Middle-earth! I wasn't going to continue this, but I think that I will! Just got to think of a good plot and a nice, long, over the top name for my Sue.<br>_


	2. Sorry

This story is discontinued. I apologize to anyone who liked it and wanted more, but I no longer have the motivation or inspiration to write it. It seemed like a good idea at the time I published it, but now, I really don't want to write it.


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